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An Exciting New Resource for the Fathers of Special Needs Children


My goal of sharing this article is to bear witness and spotlight attention on the great dads fathering and parenting children with special needs, and to introduce you to an excellent new resource. Dads are responsible for providing their families with love and emotional, spiritual, and financial support. It is a heavy burden to carry and getting heavier with the added responsibility of caring for the ever-growing population of special needs children. It is important to remember that no matter how capable and tough you are, there is always more you can do to empower yourself, take care of yourself, and better prepare yourself for future challenges by healing your past. The book Healing 4 Tough Guys: Your Field Manual and Guide for Increased Wellness, Healing, and Fulfillment provides much-needed recognition and support for all your life's challenges. Enjoy the article! - Jennifer Giustra-Kozek


Henry David Thoreau said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation," and dads with special children are no exception. It doesn't have to continue this way. I wrote "Healing 4 Tough Guys (H4TGs) to help all men seeking more happiness and balance. For any man, no matter how tough, there must be a balance of giving without getting burnt out. Ultimately, all healing must start from within.


In H4TGs, I discuss the analogy of a 4-horse chariot (there is, in fact, a thoroughbred secret fifth horse that is important, as I discuss in the book) and a critical horse needed to go to the next level. This 4+ horse chariot concept demonstrates overcoming challenges and finding more motivation and balance. It provides strategies for men to handle their struggles better and conquer their past hurts.  We all desire more energy, face fewer obstacles, and experience less stress. This book will show you the path to self-healing and the path forward to being the superhero you are. The four horses on the chariot I discuss are the Mental-Physical-Emotional-Social elements of healing.


The Mental Horse: Your Brain. The brain is a mental tool. Thinking less negatively is more effective than thinking more positively. Keep negative thoughts in your head neutrally. Recognize your triggers. Establish S.M.A.R.T. goals.


The Physical Horse: Your body. We must start with the basics when it comes to physical health. Regardless of the diagnosis we have or the core of our issues, are you taking care of our physical body?  We need to work to keep the horses running together in the intended and same direction. The basics are nutrition, hydration, exercise, and sleep. These four are fundamental determinators of our health, regardless of the mental or emotional stressors we face.  The book goes into the many available fun yet therapeutic activities to better focus on your physical health.


The Emotional Horse: Your Heart. It is the Horse of our emotional well-being. We know that many, if not most, physical illnesses emanate from emotional-related issues like stress, anxiety, depression, etc. So, ensuring this Horse is well cared for is essential. I provide specific tools to help you create more balance and manage your emotions better when triggered by an upsetting event. One example of many offered is the use of the stoplight technique.  Becoming mindful of what light is blaring gives us more control. Green means go, and it is okay to press ahead. If we start to feel unsure or falter on the path, we have gone to yellow. That's the time to look for why we may have stumbled and make corrections. Failing to identify the hazards of the yellow light as we drive toward healing can lead us to the most critical phase, where we face a return to pain and suffering—the red light. Making corrections when the light goes red only gets more complicated. I'm a big fan of the stoplight technique because it's easy to recognize and relate to.


The Social Horse:  Interpersonal Development. My list of social tools can help you develop this Horse, which can be a key to more fulfillment. Powerful reminders can motivate you to act on something you already knew had to be done but haven't done yet. Seeing it in this context and this field manual is enough to get you moving. You can also find out more about the last Horse, the thoroughbred in your stable that you must attach to your chariot, in the complete version of the book.


That said, if a man focused on the four horses of the chariot to create balance and ensure the horses were working together, life would feel better. The Healing 4 Tough Guys book is jam-packed with so many concepts and solutions that any man from any background will benefit exponentially. You will learn about defining and embracing what a tough guy is and what he is not, the impact of the Agents of Socialization, clearing subconscious memories with the ITT Machine™, Resiliency, Spiritual Stoicism, defining/finding/empowering our sense of purpose, Default Fun, Handling Grief, and more.

You can find the book here or email me directly for a signed copy.


I hope you enjoy the book.


With love and respect,

Dave Gerber



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